Dear Missionary Lady,
Greetings in the name of the amazing and complex God, who is all that a divine being should be. Truly, He is the great God!
Can I share a testimony with you of one of the most timely and important lessons God has ever taught me? Last week I finally formulated into precise words some thoughts that have been with me for a while. These conclusions showed me to be in a dark, deep pit, and I knew I needed to deal with them. On Sunday I spent all day with God, journaling, trying to organize and analyze my thoughts and seek His wisdom and guidance to order them aright.
In a nutshell, I know what I believe about God. I’ve staked everything on who He is and what He has done. Some of what I know about God is that He loves me, that He answers prayer, that He loves to rescue His people, and that He cares for me. I believe those things. But in my human mind, those statements would suggest certain actions by God, and those are not the actions I see Him doing. It would be easy for an unbeliever or skeptic (or my own stumbling self) to look at my life and say, “Prove it. Explain to me how those statements about God can be true, because when I look at your life, I do not see Him loving or caring or rescuing or answering prayer. It looks more like He is heartlessly ignoring.” I found myself hard pressed to give an answer to that. If asked for a testimony of God’s current work in my life, I would flounder.
Over the years God has taught me much about Himself and about trials. I mentally agree with those truths. I choose to believe. I know God can’t be wrong. But because a lot of that acknowledged and accepted truth does not line up with my life, I am confused about how to interpret God’s work or how to continue having hope. My question is not about why God is working the way He is. Rather, it is about how someone of His character can even do what He is doing.
One possible interpretation of Psalm 77:10 is the psalmist expressing his grief that God has changed. This does seem to be the thrust of vs. 3-9, beginning with, “I remembered God, and was troubled.” The verses are filled with anguish that God seems to “be favourable no more.” Gone are His mercy, His promise, His grace, and His tender mercies. My heart relates to the psalmist, and I agree that such thoughts invoke deep sorrow. My logic and experience want to bemoan that He has changed, even while my heart cries out, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”
My final paragraph after journaling all day still had so much uncertainty and anguish. Even as I fought to cling to truth, no matter how illogical it seemed, I felt spiritually numb, like I was waiting for a time of breakthrough when I have strong conviction again. In fact, twice in my final written lines, I talked about waiting, and twice in those same lines, I said I didn’t know what to do about my dilemma.
In approximately twelve hours, I had God’s glorious answer. I woke up during the night and was quoting through Psalm 23. As much time as I have spent in that psalm, I saw something new. It struck me that the Shepherd is doing different things at different times – sometimes watching over us as we rest in green pastures, sometimes leading us beside quiet waters, sometimes accompanying us through dark valleys, sometimes providing for us as we are surrounded by enemies, sometimes filling our cup to overflowing, for example. Regardless of the activity, He is always there, working out His purposes and guiding His sheep. Some of the puzzles of the previous day just fell into place in the form of this truth: God always is all that He is, but He is not always doing the same thing.
I had been right that God’s character does not change. He is always loving, always compassionate, always faithful, always good, always just, always wise, always powerful. But His actions are not always the same, because His purposes are not always the same. Sometimes His purpose is to comfort, sometimes to encourage, sometimes to correct, sometimes to develop character, sometimes to purify, sometimes to prune, sometimes to protect. They are all good things. Psalm 23 itself suggests all the following actions: protecting, supplying needs, edifying, guiding, reassuring, comforting, correcting, rescuing, preparing for service, and blessing.
It's much like a parent who always loves, but at different times that love is expressed through different actions, including punishment, scolding, instruction, assigning chores, talking, playing together, hugging, etc., but it’s all for the good of the child. “Coincidentally,” the evening before, I had watched a Walton’s episode in which one of the adult children had to scold and physically remove a child who was too close to the stove, and another adult child struggled with yelling at the troops he was training. The father explained that these actions were kindness if they kept the child from a bad burn or the soldiers from being killed in battle. On a higher level, both God’s gentle actions and His harsher actions are ultimately kind, and they are all a reflection of His unchanging character; they are all motivated by love, guided by wisdom, achieved through power, accompanied by faithfulness, and all in order to accomplish good for the follower.
God always is all that He is, but He is not always doing the same thing. He is not always working in the same location: green pastures, quiet waters, dark valleys, surrounded by enemies. He is not always using the same tools: grass, water, rod, staff, food, oil, drink. His actions, His settings, and His tools are guided by His purposes, and therefore His interactions at different times might look very different, depending on what He is currently seeking to accomplish.
What a relief of an oppressive burden! God’s character has not changed; in fact, His character prompts His actions. His work in my life is in accord with who He is, and it is so wonderful to be able to declare that with confidence and enthusiasm. “Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. I cried unto him with my mouth, and he was extolled with my tongue. Verily God hath heard me; he hath attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, which hath not turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me” (Psalm 66:16-17, 19-20).
Regardless of the current circumstances of your life, I trust that You will also find all that you need in our great God, who knows best how to do what He wants to do, and who remains constantly true to Himself.
Love in Christ,
Peggy Holt
member at Open Door Baptist Church in Lebanon, PA
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