02112023 Not the Only Me

Dear Missionary Lady,

Greetings in the name of the Master Potter. He is the one who takes us as we are and molds us into what He wants us to be.

I recently read the story of Martin and Gracia Burnham, New Tribes missionaries in the Philippines who were captured by terrorists and held captive for just over a year in 2001-2002. That year was one of constant hiding and trekking through jungles, with little food and few supplies, few comforts and frequent illness, all under the treatment of men who didn’t think they were doing anything wrong. In the process of the eventual rescue by the Philippine army, Martin was killed and Gracia was wounded.

As Gracia reflected on the experience, she said that the terrorists were “forcing me to see a side of myself I didn’t like. There was a Gracia I barely knew existed: fearful Gracia, selfish Gracia, bitter Gracia, angry-at-God Gracia. That wasn’t the only me, but it was a bigger part of me than I wanted to accept” (In the Presence of my Enemies, by Gracia Burnham, Tyndale, 2003).

That final sentence really captured my attention. “That wasn’t the only me, but it was a bigger part of me than I wanted to accept.” Isn’t that how all of us are? It is especially true when a trial turns up the heat. We see ugly parts of ourselves that sometimes surprise us, and that sadly are a bigger part of ourselves than we would like to admit. Sometimes I “handle” the trials okay, but sometimes there is a discouraged me, a hopeless me, a self-pitying me, a resentful me, an apathetic me. Those aren’t the only me, but they are a bigger part of me than I want to accept.

As I thought about this reality, I adapted Gracia’s statement in several ways. “That wasn’t the only me.” I think the immediate truth is that, vile and flawed as we are, that is no longer our identity. It is not exclusive. Before our salvation, we were as Romans 3:10-18 describe: none righteous, none that understandeth, none that seeketh, gone out of the way, unprofitable, open sepulchre, deceit, poison of asps, cursing, bitterness, destruction and misery, etc. Thank God for I Corinthians 6:11: “And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.” “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (II Corinthians 5:17). There would be an unhealthy level of discouragement and despair if we allow our failures to represent our entirety.

“That isn’t the desired me.” The wicked are content in their sin, comfortable in their “freedom.” The Christian recognizes his shortcomings, but the recognition does not please him. Paul talks about “what I would [do],” “to will is present with me,” the desire to “perform that which is good,” and “the good that I would” (Romans 7:15-19). David failed in some pretty big ways, but God saw his heart. God saw that David, although not perfect, had a heart to follow God. God saw that David rejected, despised, and repented of those failures. What David wanted was a clean heart and a right spirit (Psalm 51:10). Thank God that even when we fail, He sees our heart that desires to do the right thing, and He looks on us with eyes of love, appreciating the heart desire of the flawed human, and still giving us His favor and grace.

“That isn’t the developing me.” Even after salvation, we have serious flaws, as Paul described in Romans 7, but we are now in the position that God is doing His transforming work in us. Day by day, month by month, year by year, decade by decade, we are gradually being made more into the image of Christ. “But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord” (II Corinthians 3:18). God helps us to “put off the old man with his deeds; and … put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him” (Colossians 3:9-10). Thank God for His gradual, transforming work of maturing us.

“That isn’t the ultimate me.” The greatest hope comes in realizing that some day this earthly, fleshly struggle will be put off. All remaining vestiges of fear, selfishness, bitterness, anger, or whatever we struggle with individually, will be taken away. “He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6). One day we will stand “glorious, … not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing … holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:27). “We know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is” (I John 3:2). “O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 7:24-25). Thank God that some day all battles with sin will be over! There will be only glory and perfection, purity and praise to our God. In that day we will be able to say, “That isn’t me at all!”

I think that in the scheme of deities and religions, our God is unique. Humanly-invented gods and religions place on man a burden he cannot bear. Man’s weaknesses and failures leave him at the capricious anger of the rigid and demanding gods. The result is disfavor, demands, curses, death, sacrifice, penance, purgatory. Our God makes a way of salvation for us flawed creatures. He redeems us, molds us, and transforms us. Through Jesus, all the demands are satisfied, and we can have peace and a wonderful and permanent relationship with the God of heaven – in spite of ourselves and all because of Him!

May God give you grace and guidance as you continue on the path of becoming a new me and of seeing others do the same.

Love in Christ,

Peggy Holt

member at Open Door Baptist Church in Lebanon, PA