10082022 Trauma

Dear Missionary Lady,

Greetings in the name of the Great Physician. He does heal physical ailments, of course, but today I’m thinking more of the injuries to the soul. In a recent church service, we had a missions director talk about the trauma that many missionaries face over the course of their service. This can come from specific outstanding incidents of danger or injury, from an accumulation of “lesser” incidents, and even from the prolonged peculiarities of being in a foreign setting. In all of this, the historic sources of spiritual and emotional support are often far removed geographically, and often missionaries’ positions limit with whom they can safely share.

My first-hand knowledge of this is limited. As a single lady, I remember feeling intensely alone during my term in Mexico, and that was probably the toughest injury that I had to recover from. I remember uncomfortable things, like the nervousness regarding border crossings or military/police checkpoints. I remember the awkward pressure of numerous marriage proposals from men who didn’t understand why I wouldn’t jump at the opportunity. As far as actual incidents, probably the most extreme that I faced was having my wallet stolen, potentially impacting my ability to remain in-country, and being in the police station until nearly midnight while the police went to the guilty man’s house and recovered my wallet. Nothing like civil unrest, riots, threats of war, national disasters, or acts of violence. No health threats that I knew would have had a better outcome back in the States. No major life events that I had to face alone. Nothing life-threatening. Nothing that threatened to destroy a ministry I had worked to establish. Nothing that put my family at risk.

Some of you have faced those kinds of things. Some more than once. Others have faced the kinds of things I faced, but for a much longer time frame. Others have been relatively protected and blessed, but still understand the pressure of being long-term in a setting that is unfamiliar or unnatural. If you feel like you don’t know what I’m talking about, thank God for that.

I’m not just trying to paint a bleak picture of missions, and I’m not trying to be overly negative nor to project a reality where it does not apply. But I do want to acknowledge the potential reality where it does apply. I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers for such difficulties and injuries, but if you will permit me, I would like to suggest a few solutions that come to mind, in no particular order.

Counsel. When godly and biblical counsel is available, it can be a wonderful resource. Sometimes it helps to have an objective outsider, and sometimes it is necessary to have someone with some appropriate training. Desiring counsel and finding it can be two different things, however, especially in a foreign country. MissAssist (www.missassist.org) does this type of ministry especially for missionaries. Jim Berg’s www.quietinganoisysoul.com might also be a helpful starting point.

Time. With most pain, things will become less intense with time. This doesn’t give help in the present, except that it provides some hope of healing. We can all think of intense pain that happened in the past that now hardly ever crosses our mind anymore. God can do that this time, too.

The Bible. God’s Word is a wonderful source of comfort. God’s truth can soothe and heal. I have heard preachers and counselors refer to Christians who are facing intense struggles, and they have said that what these people often need is “massive doses of Scripture.” Sadly, sometimes our tendency is to neglect or minimize our time in the Word when our spirits are in such pain, when what we need is extra time. In addition to being a wonderful source of comfort, the Bible is also a wonderful source of instruction. Through its doctrine and exhortation and even through its stories, the Bible often gives us just what we need to get through and to learn what we need to learn.

Prayer. How many of the psalms are filled with the anguished cries of broken hearts? These men called out to God and found hope and healing and peace. There is something vitally important in pouring it all out to God, in inviting Him into our deepest hurts, in begging for His help, in expressing submission to His plan. We all know that there is common prayer (the kind that we pray publicly or without deep thought) and then there is real heart-level prayer (when we hold nothing back, when it is simply raw and unfiltered and coming from the depth of our soul). This kind of prayer is necessary when the soul is injured.

Love. The answer to trauma is not the same for everyone, but I find that much of what I crave during intense difficulty is simply love. I just want to know that someone cares, and then have them tell me so. I’ve also learned that you can’t make people love you, and it doesn’t even work very well to ask people to love you. Meaningful love is voluntary and spontaneous. But when there is a source of love available, I think that it helps to soak in as much of that healing love as possible, not to push it away because of our own conflicted feelings. Pretty much my main purpose in writing this letter, and in writing these letters each week, is to let you know that I love you and am thinking about you and praying for you. I want you to know you are not forgotten and that you are special. If you are doing fine, I am thankful for that. If you happen to be struggling, please know that my heart cares, and I pray that something in this letter will help you.

Love in Christ,

Peggy Holt

member at Open Door Baptist Church in Lebanon, PA