Dear Missionary Lady,
Greetings in the name of the God of resources, who supplies all that we need for all that we face. Without Him, life would often be completely overwhelming.
Lesson #29. It is natural to mourn our losses and to long for the blessings of the past. Some losses are abrupt and others are gradual, but whether our losses strike us harshly in the face or whether we see them only as we ponder, life does have losses.
We often want life to be as it has always been. We remember the blessings of the past, times when life was better, perhaps even our walk with God seemed sweeter and our growth seemed more dynamic. Upon consideration, we are sometimes shocked to realize how drastically our lives have changed even in a short space of time. (Wow, does that describe the past year!)
Job's life changed very quickly and dramatically. He implored his friends, "Mark me, and be astonished, and lay your hand upon your mouth. Even when I remember I am afraid, and trembling taketh hold on my flesh" (21:5-6). Job's reversals were so dramatic that they staggered the mind. Job was deeply disturbed to realize what his life had been like just a few months earlier. His friends were easily able to observe the changes caused by tragedy and illness.
Later Job shared his sense of loss related to his changed situation. "Oh that I were as in months past, as in the days when God preserved me; when his candle shined upon my head, and when by his light I walked through darkness; as I was in the days of my youth, when the secret of God was upon my tabernacle" (29:2-4). Job perceived a great loss, falling from the prime of life to hanging at death's door, and falling from sweet fellowship and blessing with God to a sense of alienation. Job shared several aspects that used to be true that he now missed. He remembered when God was with him (v. 5). He recalled when his children surrounded him (v. 5). He considered when blessings abounded (v. 6). He recollected when he was respected and held in high esteem by others (vs. 7-10) and when his testimony was admired (v. 11).
Job wasn't wrong. These losses had happened, and his losses were indeed great and worthy of sorrow. Sorrow over losses is not wrong. God has made us to feel our losses; it is part of being human. On the other hand, sorrow should not completely ruin us. We must exercise careful evaluation and godly thinking so that our sorrow does not lead us into poor decisions or a life of despair. Following are some considerations that might come into play.
Sometimes our memories are faulty. Especially when times are tough, we want to remember the "good old days," and sometimes we glamorize them. Because time has passed, we sometimes forget the amount of struggle that was mixed with the pleasant memories. Later joy and blessing can sometimes cover or obliterate past pain, and sometimes we remember what we want to remember. (Exodus 16:3; John 16:21)
Sometimes our evaluations of the present are faulty. Job was right about most things; he really had lost his children, his material blessings, and his reputation, but he had not lost God. Job didn't sense it at the time, but God had not abandoned him. When our mind and emotions are in a dark place, we tend to evaluate everything through that dark perspective. We might selectively ignore some facts that don't fit our sense of despair. When we are crushed by a great sorrow, it can be difficult to get our minds to expand beyond our immediate context of pain and gloom. (I Kings 18:22; I Kings 19:10,18)
Our knowledge of the future is uncertain. We cannot assume things will always continue the same or worse than they are now. It is uncommon for life to be constant and unchanging. In general, life is filled with variation, times of blessing interspersed with times of trial. Because things are bad now, that does not mean they will always be that way. How would Joseph have survived with that mindset? How would any of the Hebrews 11 heroes have survived if they could not look forward with hope? (Ecclesiastes 3:1f; I Peter 5:10; I Peter 1:6, Psalm 30:5)
Our interpretation of blessing may be lacking. There are different levels of blessing - some physical, some social, some material, some spiritual. While one level of blessing may be decreasing, another level may be rapidly increasing. Sometimes our awareness of losses in one area can blind us to other areas of growth. It may require some perspective or some extra effort, but we should strive to see the gains as well as the losses. It is natural to long for the familiar past blessings, but we don't know if the future blessings will be greater, although they might be in different areas. We may not see the blessings until time has passed, but God is often in the process of bringing them. In fact, when we finally do see what God has done and what He has brought us through, the realization can be staggering, bringing abundant rejoicing. (II Corinthians 4:16; III John 1:2; Hebrews 12:11)
Our submission to God must allow for discomfort. God's Word repeatedly reveals that sorrow and trouble are part of life in this fallen world. God has made it pretty clear that trials and struggle are the pathway to growth. None of us likes sorrow or pain, but we have to be able to trust the good and wise God who ordains it. We have to be willing to accept loss, knowing that God uses it to accomplish His work. (James 1:3-4; I Peter 5:5-6; Jeremiah 18:4-6)
Our discomfort cannot cause us to forget truth. When we are struggling and sorrowing, then more than ever we need to remember truth. Feelings and facts are often great foes. Erratic emotions can wage war against the truth that would stabilize us. Here are just a few truths to cling to when sorrow and loss seem overwhelming, as they seemed for Job. "When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee" (Isaiah 43:2-3). "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me" (Psalm 23:4). "But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope" (I Thessalonians 4:13). Our loss can indeed be great, but with God we always have comfort and hope.
May God support and comfort you in your losses, and may He give you joy in seeing the great work He has accomplished through them. Keep walking forward.
Love in Christ,
Peggy Holt
member at Open Door Baptist Church in Lebanon, PA
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