01022021 Ruined Testimony

Dear Missionary Lady,

Greetings in the name of the God of new beginnings. Whether it is on a daily or yearly basis, or based on life situations, God gives grace to continue forward and to do new things for Him.

Lesson #20. In the midst of trial, it may seem that our testimony is ruined. Job was aware of how people were evaluating and reacting to his declined circumstances. "I am as one mocked of his neighbor, who calleth upon God, and he answereth him: the just upright man is laughed to scorn" (Job 12:4). "He hath made me also a byword of the people; and aforetime I was as a tabret" (Job 17:6). "But now they that are younger than I have me in derision, whose fathers I would have disdained to have set with the dogs of my flock. And now I am their song, yea, I am their byword" (Job 30:1,9).

Job's trying situation was not met with compassion and understanding. His friends now mocked him and made jokes about him. People in general started using him as the community example. Even young people and wicked people were bold enough to ridicule Job. If enough people say something (or if we perceive that they are saying it), it must be true. Job was convinced that he no longer had any respect from anyone.

Reality - people are weak. Truth - even the strongest Christians at times falter. In particularly trying circumstances, we can be especially aware of the increased challenges. We can become increasingly aware of the turmoil in our spirits and more attuned to our shortcomings. (Romans 7 is sobering, coming from a spiritually mature man who was aware of how weak his flesh was.)

The intensity of a trial often means that we have increased opportunities to face temptation and therefore awareness of greater than normal struggle. It is easy to feel like a disaster, like we are constantly failing, like we are ruining everything. Or, as in Job's case, he still believed in his integrity, but he was watching his life and testimony fall apart, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. That sometimes happens in real life; trials can be so intense and life so disordered that onlookers start making negative evaluations, even when they are not warranted.

When we are tired, overwhelmed, discouraged, hurting, and so on, we lose some of our ability to think and evaluate clearly. Even men, even strong leaders (Moses, Elijah, Jeremiah) can start to form wrong conclusions. The presence of strong emotion creates a very real danger of negative thinking or of poor evaluation. In these times, our perception can tower over reality and sometimes even be in conflict with reality. We might think our testimony is ruined, and not realize that there are onlookers who are amazed and inspired by our continuing to follow God.

There are times, as in Job's case (or Joseph's) when a destroyed life and ruined testimony actually does happen. This is temporary, but sometimes it is necessary within God's plan. Although such a destruction is painful and confusing, there must be a willingness to be ruined before others if that is what it takes to follow God and allow His plan to proceed. This is such a hard thing. There were missionaries in the past who suffered such misunderstanding, as they served for decades in remote places with no visible results, but only constant challenges, threats on their lives, deaths of spouses and children, and everything that made people back home think these people had made a monstrous mistake. But they were doing exactly what God wanted, and in time God showed His blessing and changed the reputation.

Could it possibly be true that we actually could bring ruin to our reputations by our own wrong actions in the midst of trials? Yes, we are weak, and we can indeed fall. But even in these cases, the Bible has great hope. Aaron, under the fear and pressure associated with Moses' long absence, performed the most heinous offense possible for a spiritual leader, but God went on to appoint him as the head of the priestly line. Samson repeatedly pursued ungodly women that turned him from faithfulness to God, but in the end God restored him enough to have great impact. David, in the highly visible position of a king, performed adultery and murder and misused the army for his cover-up, but God forgave David, raised him to great success, and spoke very highly of him. John Mark bailed out on a missionary trip, resulting in friction in high levels of leadership, but God later made him useful in the ministry and in penning words of Scripture.

Peter is perhaps the most inspiring example of all. He repeatedly denied association with Christ, even with an oath. But Jesus had said, "But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren" (Luke 22:32). Jesus knew Peter would fall hard, but He expected Peter to be restored and to be the one to minister to others. The restoration process in John 21 is beautiful, and Peter's impact and influence, which became greater than ever before, is powerfully revealed in the book of Acts.

Choices do have consequences, and damage can be done by our legitimate failures, but that never needs to be permanent. God has all the power to re-write our stories and to add new chapters that are very different from previous chapters. Depending on the nature and severity of the failure, there may be times when the nature or location of future ministry might be different, but God's desire is to heal and restore (2 Corinthians 2:5-11).

It would be a mistake to allow our emotions or discouragement to so color our thinking that we convince ourselves of failure that is not true. It would be a mistake to allow failure or perceived failure to keep us from ever serving again. God is the master of turning disastrous situations around to His glory. God is the master of restoration. God delights in using small and broken things, submissive in His hands, to accomplish mighty works.

This is wonderful and powerful truth that I hope none of you are in dire need of. God knows. I do know that struggles like this happen in ministry, and if you know of a colleague right now who needs this encouragement, please (as always) feel free to share. May God bless each of you as you enter this new and unknown year. May He be magnified, and may fruit abound in His work. God bless you.

Love in Christ,

Peggy Holt

member at Open Door Baptist Church in Lebanon, PA