09282019 Stability in Pain

Dear Missionary Lady,

Psalm 44 starts out positively. The author recalls the wonderful work God had done for Israel in the past, establishing them in the land by His might and favor (vs. 1-3). The author then looks confidently to God as the only hope for future deliverance (vs. 4-8).

Things turn bleak in vs. 9-14. The people are now in a time of domination by their enemies and are fleeing before them. The author's descriptions include these: "put to shame," "sheep appointed for meat," "scattered among the heathen," "reproach to our neighbors," and "byword among the heathen."

What makes this time of trouble especially difficult is the recognition of God's role in their circumstances. The trouble is clearly attributed to God. "Thou hast cast off," "Thou makest us to turn back," "Thou hast given us like sheep," "Thou sellest thy people," "Thou makest us a reproach." To me, one of the most painful phrases is that God isn't going with them to the battle (v. 9).

The psalm doesn't tell the reason for this time of intense difficulty. It is quite possible that the psalmist doesn't even know why all this disaster is happening, but truly this is a difficult time. To be in such a sore trial, to know that God is supervising it all, and to feel that God is not there to give His help - this causes anguish of soul. The psalmist speaks of confusion and shame (v. 15).

In the midst of this trial and its accompanying inner turmoil, the author identifies his response and that of the rest of the people (vs. 17-21). He says that even though "all this is come upon us; yet have we not forgotten thee." They have not "dealt falsely" in their covenant with God. Their "heart is not turned back," and their steps have not left God's ways. They have not "forgotten the name" of God or sought help in a false source.

These claims of integrity, faithfulness, and unwavering devotion are not empty. The psalmist recognizes God's knowledge of "the secrets of the heart" and acknowledges that God can search them to see if these claims are true.

Integrity, faithfulness, and unwavering devotion in the face of intense and puzzling trial. We can relate, can't we? We have all been through those hard and confusing times. There have been times of failure, when our hearts wavered and when our faith was threatened. But by God's grace, there have also been times when we clung to Him, when our faith was tenacious, when our God-dependence was overwhelming. As we have grown in maturity, these latter descriptions have been more frequent than the former.

But it is not easy. The final verses of the psalm (vs. 22-25) end without giving any answers of deliverance. Instead, they describe how incredibly difficult this trial is. What was it like for these people who were steadfastly anchored in God in spite of the anguish? They were "killed all the day long" and "counted as sheep for the slaughter." They felt that God was sleeping and was casting them off for a time. God was hiding His face. He was forgetting their affliction and oppression. Their soul was "bowed down to the dust."

Yet they maintained their integrity and their faithfulness to God. It was hard, oh so hard! For a long time. They waited for answers without seeing them. They waited for God's intervention and deliverance. As the psalmist considered their steadfast devotion to God, I think he took comfort in knowing that God knew their heart. "Shall not God search this out? for he knoweth the secrets of the heart."

Our hearts are weak. They easily entertain conflict or reservation. They ask questions. They feel battered. There are times that we even seem to have little spiritual strength, when we feel like we can't put one foot in front of the other spiritually. Our Bible reading might be forced, habitual, and dry. Our prayers might seem weak and shallow. We can feel like our spirit is so crushed that we just don't have any spiritual energy to expend.

BUT - we know that we love God. We know that we are devoted to Him. We know that by His grace we intend to follow Him anyway - every day of our lives. That is the kind of dogged determination that the psalmist had. There is nowhere else to turn. God is the answer. There was no option except to continue waiting on God. And wonderfully, God knows that about our hearts. He sees our struggling determination to be faithful. He sees our underlying desire to please Him.

Like the psalmist, our conclusion can be prayer based on God's character. "Arise for our help, and redeem us for thy mercies' sake" (v. 26). The God who delivered in the past will again deliver. We just have to wait. Meanwhile, we determine to keep following God anyway, and we plead for His help to keep us on that path.

"Come, thou Fount of every blessing,/ Tune my heart to sing thy grace;/ Streams of mercy, never ceasing,/ Call for songs of loudest praise./ Teach me some melodious sonnet,/ Sung by flaming tongues above./ Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,/ Mount of thy redeeming love.

Here I raise mine Ebenezer;/ Hither by thy help I'm come;/ And I hope, by thy good pleasure,/ Safely to arrive at home./ Jesus sought me when a stranger,/ Wandering from the fold of God;/ He, to rescue me from danger,/ Interposed his precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor/ Daily I'm constrained to be!/ Let thy goodness, like a fetter,/ Bind my wandering heart to thee./ Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,/ Prone to leave the God I love;/ Here's my heart, O take and seal it,/ Seal it for thy courts above."

No matter how hard things get and no matter for how long, God can hold you and help you. Wait on Him. He will not fail.

Love in Christ,
Peggy Holt
member at Open Door Baptist Church in Lebanon, PA
www.pressingontohigherground.blogspot.com